Helping People
At the end of the service on Sunday, someone came up and asked me an excellent question: “How can we tell who really needs the help and what is the best way to help them?” It is a good question and few people ask it today in order to make the most benefit of their giving. When you give of your time, treasures, and energy to others in need, it should make a difference, not assist them in their brokenness.
But like an addict’s parents, far too many of us just want to bail someone out of trouble. We want to feel good without much thought of the consequences. Therefore, we help “fix” a person’s situation and often leave them no better off in reality than when we showed up.
So how do we know if someone really needs help? Here are a couple of suggestions: (1) Look at the big picture. Don’t just consider the immediate circumstances. Ask about the surrounding issues. If it is money that is needed, ask about their overall financial plan and how it is being addressed. If it is help with a relationship, then ask about the background and what else is involved. Get the full picture and think through the implications of helping.
(2) Do things that bring about freedom AND responsibility from the underlying cause or situation. Anything that offers freedom without responsibility only furthers irresponsible behavior. Offering responsibility without freedom is just cruel. Both are important in helping people in almost any situation of extended need.
(3) Offer grace somewhere in the mix. Cheap grace is no good, but grace when mixed into the formula of freedom and responsibility offers dignity to the person or persons being helped. And since personal dignity should always be a major consideration, we must find ways to give grace quietly.
How do we know the best way to help? Ask the same questions! Will this assistance bring freedom, responsibility, and personal dignity to the individual? Is this just for me to feel better or is it really to change their situation? Am I getting all the info necessary to make an informed decision?
After many years in both inner city ministry and overseas work, I have found these basic things to be important in helping others. What other things do you think are important?
- Written by Ed Palpant